The Meaning of the Cross: Moronic and Offensive

The Moronic and Offensive Cross

The cross of Christ is moronic and offensive, wrote the Apostle Paul:

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,

‘I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.’

“Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?

For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, God decided, through the foolishness of our proclamation, to save those who believe.

“For Jews demand signs and Greeks desire wisdom,

but we proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block [skandalon -  in the Greek---the root of our English words scandalous; it also means offensive] to Jews

and foolishness [morian -  in the Greek---the root of our English word moronic] to Gentiles,

but to those who are called, both Jew and Greeks, Christ [is] the power of God and the wisdom of God.

“For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.” (bolds and italics mine) (1 Corinthians 1:18-25) (New Revised Standard Version)

So Paul claimed to preach a message that is both scandalous/offensive and moronic/foolish. What was that message? You just read it above: Christ crucified. Does that strike you as strange? Christians comfortably speak of Christ crucified all the time. What is offensive or moronic about saying Christ crucified? Consider the following.

Christ is the word that replaced the term Messiah in the Greek-speaking world where Paul took the gospel. So we are talking about Messiah (God’s anointed) being crucified. Now take note of Deuteronomy ..21:23.. (and Galatians ..10:13..). We discussed this verse at the beginning of this chapter. It says that God curses/damns anyone hung on a tree---and therefore anyone crucified. Have you put it together now?

Christ crucified is a Greek way of saying Messiah damned!

Now it sounds offensive, does it not? Now it sounds moronic too. How could an intelligent, prudent man like Paul preach Messiah damned? It is stupid and disgusting, is it not? How can God’s anointed one be damned by God? It does not make a lick of sense.

But Paul made no apology. He was not ashamed of the gospel. (Romans 1:16) He believed it was true precisely because it was too outrageous not to be. He, like so many after him, believed it because no one but God could come up with something so spectacularly ridiculous!

Messiah damned. Offensive? Yes, in the extreme. Moronic? Yes, absolutely. But as Paul wrote,

“For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, God decided, through the foolishness (moronic-ness) of our proclamation (Messiah damned), to save those who believe.” (1 Corinthians 1:21)

And he wrote,

“For God’s foolishness (moronic-ness) is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness (Christ crucified or Messiah damned) is stronger than human strength.” (1 Corinthians 1:25)

In the current climate of political correctness and hypersensitivity, it is as if we are surrounded by “the offended.” Christians today are not immune to this “don’t offend” trend. We have joined the ranks of the hyper-vigilant. Not to offend is casually seen as a Christian duty.

Yet how do we reconcile our political correctness with Jesus? Jesus offended people. His teachings and behaviors offended people. And the Bible comes right out and says so. His own kin and hometown folks took offense at him. (Matthew 13:57; Mark 6:3) The Pharisees took offense at him. (Matthew 15:12) His own disciples took offense at him. (John 6:60-66)

Moreover, Paul said the gospel is offensive! Specifically, he wrote that the gospel message of “Christ crucified” was a stumbling block to Jews, meaning an offense to religious sensibilities. (1 Corinthians 1:23) In other words, the message itself is offensive by human reasoning. Paul referred to Isaiah in Romans 9:33:

"See, I am laying in Zion a stone that will make people stumble, a rock that will make them fall, and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame." (New Revised Standard Version)

“A rock that will make them fall” can be translated “a rock of offense.” The Greek word for “offense” is the same in all the preceding paragraphs. Again, skandalon--- ska,ndalon in the Greek---means stumbling block; it is the root of our English word scandalous; and it means offensive.

While the message is admittedly scandalous/offensive to some, particularly to the religiously hyper-vigilant, Jesus made it clear that one need not experience it as so. Jesus said, “blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me." (Matthew 11:6) And Paul clearly wrote that to those being called by God, the message of Christ crucified (Messiah damned) is not moronic or offensive, but is the power of God and the wisdom of God. (1 Corinthians 1:24)

“For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength.” (1 Corinthians 1:25)

This is what Jesus is all about, according to Paul. And that is not preached and taught very much today. How so? When the subject of Jesus comes up, arguably the most common response is to start talking about “doing right” and “straightening up” and “trying harder” and “getting back to church” and “stopping drinking.”

People feel shame and guilt at the mention of Jesus’ name rather than forgiveness and freedom!

They should feel understood and liberated and empowered. They should feel wonder, awe, and delight. Instead, when Jesus is mentioned, they too often start talking about “getting right with The Man before I die so he won’t punish me.” Hopefully this book will change some minds. That is what “repent” literally means, “to change one’s mind” (meta,noia , meta-noia, change-mind).

It is too strange and wonderful to be true. The Judean authorities’ master plan to erase Jesus was to get him hung on a tree and thus damned by God. (Deuteronomy 21:23) And the message that his first believers embraced was exactly that---Christ crucified, Messiah damned by God! Who but God could have planned something so brilliantly absurd?

A God-damned Messiah saves the world. Offensive. Moronic. Provocative. Perfect.

The Father carried the world’s condemnation through his Son’s cross, and thus died to sin and death and condemnation on behalf of all humanity. He became our curse. (Galatians 3:13) That is how he saved the world. He did it because he loves the world---the whole beautiful, terrible, holy, cancerous, hilarious, reptilian, awful, and wonderful ball of wax. (John 3:16-17)

Leave it to God to die so well.

[Adapted from Jesus Unplugged, Copyright 2005, Faithwalk Publishing]

For more on Roman crucifixion see Was Jesus Crucified in the Manner Shown in Paintings and Movies?

Salted with Fire

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Why, after the amputation or Gehenna sayings, does Jesus speak suddenly of salt? Again it’s about Life and peace over against death and torment. If you have no salt, no fire, no peace, then you have no Life. Apparently there is a fire that consumes Life (fire in the dump of Gehenna), but there is also a fire that infuses Life (fire of the Holy Spirit). There is a fire that deadens and there is a fire of the Spirit that enlivens. This is the salt of which Jesus, again in figures, now speaks. What did he mean?

Though you are made to be the salt of the earth, you can become tasteless. To become a slave of your hand is to lose your salt. To become a slave of your foot is to lose your salt. To become a slave of your eye is to lose your salt. If the addiction of your hand or foot or eye robs you of the peaceful, passionate, salty, Life-filled, rich and abundant relational reality that Jesus called the kingdom of heaven, amputation is immeasurably better than that.

Salt equals Life.

Jesus is talking about spiritual death by blandness. Bland equals spiritual death and a hellish existence. Again, the symbol “=” means equals.

Spiritual slavery = blandness = hellishness = death

Spiritual freedom = saltiness = heavenliness = Life

How do you spell hell? Jesus spells it B-L-A-N-D. He wants to know, What’s your salt worth?

Mark 8:36-37 For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life (psuche)? ³⁷ Indeed, what can they give in return for their life (psuche)?

The Greek word for life also means soul, and is often translated as such.

Mark 8:36-37 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul (psuche)? ³⁷ Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul (psuche)?

Salt is Life. It means everything. The opposite of salt and Life is blandness and death. Blandness doesn’t seem like such a bad thing on the surface. But without salt, if you’re bland, you’re worm food!

Salt in you—spirit and fire, passion and love, freedom and soul—is the zest and savor and vigor and verve of Life. It’s the flavor and zeal and gusto of Life. Salt is vibrancy and vitality and intensity. Salt sharpens and heightens and enhances. It intensifies and accents and enriches. It brightens and enlivens and excites. It arouses and stimulates and sparks.

I caught a televised worship service from a downtown protestant church recently. The robed pastor from his lofty pulpit deposited his three dry imperatives. You must have peace. You must have hope. You must have joy. When the camera showed the congregants, they resembled a forest of stumps. A child was drawing on a bulletin. A teenager mindlessly twirled her hair. Zoned-out parents made mental to-do lists. A grandfather took a nap. Even when the preacher spoke of joy, it was clear that joy had left the building and gone to lunch. Where’s the salt? Where’s the zest? Where’s the gusto? Where’s the spice of Life?

Please don’t think that peppier music and a hip pastor necessarily fix anything. You could have jumping up and down and rolling in the aisles. You could have waiving hands and loud weeping. Outward appearances aren’t salt. And simulation salt seasons nothing. I have nothing against the salt substitute manufacturers. I’m sure that the good folks on a salt-restricted diet appreciate one of the various salt substitutes. But the cook in my life says that salt substitutes are sad substitutes for the real thing.

Real salt is what is needed. Real salt is what every person wants. And like the tiny mustard seed that becomes a tree-sized bush, and like a mere pinch of yeast that makes a whole fifty pounds of flour rise, a dash of salt makes all the difference in the world to your palate. Without it a meal is mere nutrition. Without salt a meal is just chewing and swallowing.

Only in four verses in the Bible does Jesus speak of salt. But these four little verses, like salt itself, make all the difference.

^NET Matthew 5:13 "You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its flavor, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled on by people.

^NET Mark 9:49 Everyone will be salted with fire.

^NET Mark 9:50 Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other."

^NET Luke 14:34 "Salt is good, but if salt loses its flavor, how can its flavor be restored?

From these four verses I glean four meanings:

1. People, including you, are the salt of the earth. That’s the way God made you. You were born the opposite of bland. You are the spice of Life. You season the world. You are the salt in God’s recipe.

2. But you can lose your God-given saltiness. Un-salty salt isn’t salt. Un-salty salt can’t fix bland. Bland is useless. Bland is trash. Bland belongs in Gehenna. Un-salty people may be living, but they aren’t alive.

3. Having salt in yourself is inseparable from being at peace in your relationships. Life and peace walk hand in hand. It’s God’s covenant promise and gift.

4. Everyone will be salted with fire because the Spirit will be poured out on all flesh. (Then afterward I will pour out my spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. Joel 2:28)

I could write here about being a spirit-filled person. I could list spiritual gifts, as Paul did in 1 Corinthians 12, and I could define them: wisdom, knowledge, faith, etc. I could list the fruits of the spirit, as Paul did in Galatians 5:22-23, and I could define them: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. But I’d rather salt this paragraph with a picture everybody recognizes, even if you aren’t a cook. Let’s go into the kitchen and ask the cook about salt.

I have a friend who is a great cook; she should have her own show on the Food Channel. I asked her about salt. She said that salt brightens. It enhances what‘s already there. Salt brings out the natural goodness. In pickling, she said, salt draws out the juices leaving a concentration of flavors. It’s the base of any seasoning mix. You don’t even make cake without salt, she said, or it will be bland.

Folks, salt is the only cure for blandness. Salt is no mere additive. It is the spice of Life. Salt is Jesus’ poetic word for Life’s richness and zest. Life is what he came to give.

John 10:10 “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

John 10:28 ²⁸ "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish . . .”

So Jesus says that you are the salt of the earth. He says everyone is salted with fire. He says have salt in yourself, and be at peace. Is he talking about literal salt? Again, no. He’s contrasting being spiritually alive and being spiritually dead. Salt-ness is Life. Blandness is death. Salt is his gift of Life to the world, for he claims the he is the way, the truth, and the Life.

 

There is no such thing as a bland Christian. That’s an oxymoron. Blandness is spiritual death. Spiritual death is self-obsession, self-importance, self-exaltation, self-righteousness, and self-imposition on others. Spiritual death is blind, unaware, oblivious, and insensitive. Blandness (spiritual death) is everywhere. But salt (Life) makes all the difference. And all it takes is a pinch.

Paul wrote only once about salt. He advises to have salt in your conversations.

^NRS Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone.

What could he mean but that gracious words are seasoned with salt, with Life and peace? No phony, artificial, bland religious jargon. But wonderful words of Life. Oh that our churches were filled with salty speech as Paul advised.

On the other hand, let’s keep it real. Were I you, I’d be on the lookout for the Bland Patrol from hell. They’re in our churches. Bland Christians (there’s really no such thing) attack people who have salt (because the bland are always blind). They hate the Life and liberty that is in you. The Patrol will be suspicious of you if you won’t wear their pseudo-holiness straightjacket, a repressed and rigid beige code of conduct born of a restrictive dull, flat, and tasteless religiosity.

The Bland Patrol is watching you. And their officers are probably the most religious people you know. I don’t know of a greater irony and tragedy than the predominant protestant, Christian voice in our culture, modern evangelicalism, is a child of Phariseeism. Too many of them are blind, bland religionist suspicious of anyone with light and liberty. They oppose Jesus and do it in Jesus’ name. The majority of the Pharisees did the same thing to Jesus and his followers. They opposed them in the name of God believing they were doing God’s will.

^ESV John 16:2 They will put you out of the synagogues. Indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God.

Jesus said that the Pharisees were mwroi. kai. tufloi, , which means “moronic and blind.” They see themselves as God’s gift to the world, but they are his enemies and don’t know it. With ironic humor and biting sarcasm Jesus said of the religious Bland Patrol of his day:

^NRS Matthew 15:14 “Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit."

And Jesus hit them right between their blind eyes:

John 9:39-41 Jesus said, "I came into this world for judgment (krisis) so that those who do not see may see, and those who do see may become blind.” ⁴⁰ Some of the Pharisees near him heard this and said to him, "Surely we are not blind, are we?" ⁴¹ Jesus said to them, "If you were blind, you would not have sin. But now that you say, 'We see,' your sin remains.

The Bland Patrol always presumes to see what is Godly and what is not, who is Godly and who is not. People enjoying Life and liberty are not Godly to their eyes. The institutionalized, zippered Bible, humorless, falsely humble, attendance pin wearing, hall monitoring religionists are Godly to their own eyes. The Pharisees asked him, You’re not calling us blind are you, Jesus? And Jesus replied, Yes, because you think you can see.

Jesus’ perspective on spiritual seeing is that the beginning of sight is the recognition of blindness. The problem with the Pharisaic Bland Patrol is that because they can’t see their darkness, they assume they are the light. This is not just sad. It’s dangerous. It leads to crucifixions of innocent people. The result is an arrogant, boastful airline in which every single pilot is blind and ready for takeoff.

Where are the Pharisees today? They’re where they always are in every generation. They are the officers and the ordained in religious institutions—churches and seminaries included.

Don’t worry about them, however, advises Jesus. They’re destined for the ditch. Focus instead on the log in your own eye. See clearly what’s dragging you into Gehenna. It’s better to be drowned or to endure amputation, said Jesus, than to be bland, to be without salt—the abundant and inexpensive spice of Life in the fire of the Spirit.

It’s about fire either way. Choose the altar of Christ or Gehenna. It’s the fire of destruction or the fire of the Spirit. It’s a salty peace or a bland hell. So far as I know, the only ingredient that fixes blandness is salt.

For more on Jesus' parables see my blogs The Absurd Parable of the Unforgiving Slave, The God Who Gambles, Parable of the Vine and Branches, The Crooked Manager, The Friend at Midnight, Heaven Is Like a Crazy Farmer, He Speaks Of . . ., Salted With Fire, Talking Sheep and Goats, Is Your Eye Evil?, Two Prodigals and Their Strange Father, The Lazarus Parable Is Not About the Afterlife,and Jesus Used Parables Like a Sieve.

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Talking Sheep & Goats: Not An Afterlife Documentary

Adapted from Chapter 4 of Heaven for Skeptics © 2009 by Bert Gary

I’ve watched shepherds in Israel. A shepherd who has both sheep and goats in his flock has a challenge. To get sheep moving he must call their names and lead them. But to get goats moving he must drive them in front of him by yelling and throwing rocks. So what does the shepherd have to do to get them moving with him at the same time in the same direction? I’ll come back to that question after we look at Jesus’ herding parable.

Look at what a serious-minded religious tract illustrator has done with a line from the Parable of the Talking Sheep and Goats:

“You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels . . .” (Matthew 25:41)

Can you believe it? Without explanation, a gigantic, faceless omni-god casts out a naked, terrified man on his knees. If the artist had bothered to actually read the parable from whence he quotes, he would have known that a shepherd-king casts out a bunch of talking goats all at once, not one man at a time. And he would have known that the blessed sheep were at the shepherd’s right and the cursed goats were at his left. The unapproachable omni-judge in the illustration is pointing the wrong way! This tract is also pointing the wrong way.

Most disturbing to me is the possibility that after all of Jesus’ teaching on unearned love and amazing grace, that, if the tract illustrator is correct, our salvation might come down to our behavior after all. If we do acts of charity, we earn heaven? If we don’t, we earn hell? Does your afterlife destiny hinge on how good a do-gooder you can be? Hardly. The tract could not be more misleading.

Here's my outline of Matthew 25:31-46. Color-coding it reveals surprising symmetry:

INTRO ³¹ "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,

I. ³³ and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left.

A. ³⁴ Then the king will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;

1. ³⁵ for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶ I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.'

2. ³⁷ Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? ³⁸ And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? ³⁹ And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?'

3. ⁴⁰ And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,¹ you did it to me.'

A'. ⁴¹ Then he will say to those at his left hand, 'You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;

1'. ⁴² for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.'

2'. ⁴⁴ Then they also will answer, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?'

3'. ⁴⁵ Then he will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.'

I'. ⁴⁶ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

• I and I' (red) enclose the parable. I reveals separate places in the judgment, and I' reveals separate places in eternity. 

• A and A' (orange) are the judgments pronounced on the separated ones; they get very different sentences. 

• 1-3 and 1'-3' (yellow, green, purple) mirror one another revealing the causes of these judgments.

Getting to the heart of it, Jesus placed an unexpected twist in this parabolic vision of judgment day. These verses are the keys:

'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' (italics mine) (NIV - Matthew 25:40)

'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' (italics mine) (NIV - Matthew 25:45)

And the key word is “these.” Who are these least brothers of the king? The obvious answer is that the least brothers are the unfortunate ones who are hungry, thirsty, strangers, naked, sick, or in prison. But there is a less obvious answer. An answer with a twist. Let’s view some of these least ones as goats! Some of the talking animals in the parable do turn out to be goats, and goats are certainly least on my affection list. Hey, can you love a mean old goat? As it turns out, that’s the key question. Can you?

Gathered before the shepherd-king (see Jesus’ face rather than an imposing, impersonal, ogre-judge) are all the people of the world. All nations are represented (Matthew 25:32). All people who have ever lived are before the throne. Now, some are put to the shepherd-king’s right and some to his left. Some are revealed as being sheep already and some as being goats already. He will speak to the sheep first.

He turns to the ones on the right and addresses them as those already blessed by his Father to inherit the kingdom prepared for them from the foundation of the world. He identifies them as sheep. Why are they identified as sheep? Because they acted sheep-like on this earth; that is, they tended to the needs of the least of these brothers of the shepherd-king.

Then he turns to the ones on the left and addresses them as those already cursed (not cursed by his Father or by him—check it yourself), and commands them to go away into a place not prepared for goats and sheep (humans), but for the evil one and his angels. These people he identifies as already goats. Why are they goats? Because they acted goat-like; that is, they did not tend to the needs of the least of these brothers of the shepherd-king.

This is what’s eye-popping. The guy on the throne, the Son of Man-shepherd-king guy, didn’t judge anyone. (See my blogs, “The Father Judges No One - 1" and "The Father Judges No One - 2") Contrary to the tract and popular opinion, he didn’t reward anyone or judge anyone. He didn’t praise or condemn anyone. Let’s get the facts straight.


The sheep are blessed of the Father from the beginning of all things.

“Come, you that are (already) blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world . . .” (Matthew 25:34)

And the goats are accursed not by the Father or the Son. They are accursed by their own actions, and told to leave and go to a place not prepared for sheep or goats, but for Satan and his angels.

“You that are (already) accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels . . .” (Matthew 25:41)

Again, this bears repeating. Neither the Father nor the shepherd-king-Son did the cursing. The throngs’ sheep-ness and goat-ness, if you will, were already apparent to the king. At first glance he could see what they already were. He doesn’t curse them on the spot or bless them on the spot. He doesn’t wave a magic wand and turn them into sheep or goats. Neither does the Father. The shepherd identifies what they already are. He easily distinguishes the two species, and he separates them by kind.

But prior to the shepherd’s identification, prior to their lives on earth, the Father blessed all sheep “from the foundation of the world.” Get this, because it’s critical. Apparently originally there were only sheep! All were blessed from the beginning as sheep. All were prepared for the kingdom (not the place where the devil and his angels go). But later, tragically, some of the sheep became goats. And goat-ness is a non-sheep state of existence.

This cursed state as goats is a result of the ex-sheep’s own choices. Consequent to the blessing that they were given up-front as sheep, they chose to become non-blessed. These goats-by-choice did something or some-things that cursed them. They cursed themselves. They are self-judged. How? Simple. They judged! Specifically, they judged some as unworthy of their charity. In other words, they ended up judged as goats because they themselves judged others as not worthy of food, drink, clothing, and visitation. Their judgment boomeranged.

Do you see it? It’s beautiful. The goats are former sheep because they decided some of the “persons” in the flock were unworthy of their humanitarian—or should I say sheep-itarian—charity. They showed partiality in their love. God’s love is impartial. He loves all the sheep the same. Thus the ex-sheep damned themselves. They chose eternal goat-ishness by picking and choosing who to help rather than helping indiscriminately.

They labeled some as goats, and by doing so unwittingly revealed themselves as goats.

So what’s the shepherd-king to do? He can’t put goats in the sheep-dom. The sheep-dom is for sheep. So, the king honors the decision made by some “persons” to be goatish, and sends them to a place where sheep (humans) were never meant to go. It’s a place where “people” who play God and play judge (as Satan and his angels do) can hobnob with other judgmental pompous religious elitist goat-ites who glory over their own superiority. 


[Created and played by Dana Carvey, The Church Lady (pictured) is a skit character named “Enid Strict”, who is the uptight, smug, and pious host of her own talk show, Church Chat. Enid is a spoof of “holier-than-thou” Christian churchgoers.]

Why do we fail to appreciate the wicked humor in Jesus’ parables? Why do we take everything so literally and seriously? I guess humor is wasted on the humorless. Look, the parable says you are a sheep or a goat. What a choice! That’s like saying you’re dumb or dumber! And the sheep and goats talk! And look, Jesus portrays himself as a herdsman sorting out livestock in the sheep-dom of heaven! And look again; eternal blessedness comes to those who are generous and compassionate to goats! Surely many of “the least of these my brothers” are mean old goats. And eternal cursedness comes to those who are calloused and careless to the least of these his brothers, including the goats—especially the goats. Sheep treat everybody like sheep, as does the shepherd. Goats discriminate.

So, how do you become a goat? Treat someone like a goat. Isn’t Jesus’ humor obvious now? Do you see the boomerang of self-judgment?

Look at the parable one more time, please. The dumb sheep don’t even know they’re sheep. The dumb goats don’t even know they’re goats. Neither can tell a sheep from a goat (though the shepherd can).

Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food . . .’ (Matthew 25:37)

Then they (the accursed) also will answer, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?' (Matthew 25:44)

Jesus uses this barnyard cartoon of the Jewish cult afterlife to elevate simple acts of charity to the level of ultimate punishment and reward. But—and this is so important—Jesus robs from this reward and punishment model any calculation or comparison or strategizing by the sheep and goats. How? By making the sheep and goats oblivious. The sheep have no idea in the end how they succeeded. They’re shocked and confused. And so are the goats. They haven’t a clue how or when they failed.

So this is not by any means a “how to” parable. This is no lesson or strategy on “how to get into heaven.” So if Jesus’ parable of the Talking Sheep and Goats isn’t a teaching on the afterlife, then what is Jesus getting at?

I hear Jesus saying that God is personally related to all people everywhere. He is everyone’s Father. That makes Jesus everybody’s brother. That makes you everybody’s brother (or sister). How you relate to your brothers is inseparable from how you relate to Jesus your brother and God your Father. We’re not talking about love as a feeling, but love as impartial treatment. Generosity and care and respect to all—whether you think they are a sheep or a goat, whether you think they deserve it or not—is an expression of knowing God’s impartial treatment of you. Knowing God is eternal Life which equals heaven. (John 17:3) Greed plus hardheartedness equals spiritual death which equals hell. Peter Kreeft put it like this:

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, ‘Thy will be done.’” C.S. Lewis in Kreeft, p. 164

Yet Jesus is saying that nobody knows nor can anyone assume their own ultimate status before God. Hellishness is the result of merciless presumption. Heavenliness is the result of merciful trust. Compassion and generosity to neighbors here and now is part and parcel of your relationship to God the Father. Don’t assume. Don’t even wonder. And certainly don’t worry. Just live and love. The key question that this parable asks is:

Don’t you realize that trying to figure out who is and isn’t a goat is goatish behavior?

Luke sums up his entire gospel with these words Jesus spoke:

“ . . . [God] is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.” (Luke 6:35)

Let that one soak in. God’s love is perfect, the scriptures say, because it is impartial. God blesses the whole flock. God is kind to goats! God scatters grace on everybody like a farmer throwing seed in every direction, showing no distinction between the road, the rocks, the briars, the weeds, and whatever good soil they may find. (Matthew 13:3-9; Mark 4:3-9; Luke 8:5-8) This is God’s love, says Jesus.

for [your Father in heaven] makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.” (italics mine) (Matthew 5:46)

If God imparts grace on everyone indiscriminately, then who are we to make judgments and show distinctions? Only goats do that.

What makes sheep sheep? What makes goats goats? It’s this very thing: Loving your neighbor with tangible acts of kindness no matter how trivial, or not. A wave. A nod. A lift into town. A dollar to a drifter. It’s fruit of the Spirit that we’re talking about. (Galatians 5:22-23) It’s the good things that come from goodness inside. (Matthew 7:16-20, ..12:35..) These verses remind us that we don’t earn Life by doing good; doing good flows naturally from the gift of Life.

“We do not do good to get to Heaven; we do good because Heaven has already got us.” (Kreeft, p. 209)

I’m afraid that some, however, read the Parable of the Talking Sheep and Goats quite differently. I give you the all-too-familiar legalistic, literalized, afterlife version of Matthew 25:31-46:

1. Whenyou die you “go” to stand alone and naked before “God” to be judged.

2. If you’ve done a bunch of good stuff, you’ve earned your way into the pearly gates. The judge blesses you. Poof, you’re a sheep. You get on the “up” escalator.

3. If you’ve failed to do a bunch of good stuff, then “God” curses you; poof, you’re a goat; a trap door opens underneath your feet—I mean your hooves; and you slide down the shoot into a lake of fire.

Now you have your legal “God.” The “God” of legalism’s default setting is hell. So, legalistically, the burden of proof is on you alone. You are guilty and going to hell until proven worthy of heaven, and it’s up to you to prove it. You get what you deserve. Everybody get what they deserve. And it’s all up to you.

Notice that a savior is not needed in the legalized, literalized interpretation of this parable. Jesus is unnecessary because by your performance you determine your own fate. You save yourself, or you don’t get saved. In this model, Jesus doesn’t have a job.

So, the legal “God” aside, what’s the real moral to Jesus’ smart story? I think it’s this:

Judge instead of love, and you will die; love instead of judge, and you will live. That’s how God does it. Those who love him are called to do the same, and are driven to do the same.

As I said, I’ve watched shepherds in Israel. It looks like to me that a shepherd with both sheep and goats in his flock must drive the goats ahead of him (by throwing rocks at them!) and call the sheep by name, which then follow. Maybe this is the purpose of the Parable of the Talking Sheep and Goats. Perhaps Jesus’ parable is intended to drive goats into loving indiscriminately here and now, and to call sheep into continuing to love indiscriminately here and now.

That being the case, Jesus deals with goats on goats’ terms. It’s the only way goats will respond. He drives them to love impartially with a parable that, to goats, is as hard as a rock upside the head!

But what if a goat is yelled at and kicked and pelted with rocks and he still resists the direction of the shepherd? Will the shepherd give up on the goat? No. Will the shepherd force the direction of the goat? No. Will the goat be allowed to suffer the consequences of his own choices? Yes.

The stiff-necked goat is graciously allowed by the good shepherd to graze in Gehenna! (See my blog, “Hell Defined 2.”)

You may be wondering, why are we talking about this life instead of the afterlife? That’s where your religious training can get in the way. Far from being a documentary on the afterlife, Jesus’ barnyard parable about talking sheep and goats is about loving in this life. Today is the day of judgment and salvation.

2 Corinthians 6:2 See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation!

Jesus gives us a parable that elevates our everyday actions to the level of eternity. Failure to love produces eternal goats. Love produces eternal sheep.

Sheepness and goatness are everyday choices for those who are given eternal Life in the kingdom here and now. In the Bible, Jesus emphasizes at every turn the here-and-now-ness of Life eternal in his all-encompassing kingdom of heaven. It’s how we respond everyday to this gift, this present and coming kingdom, this Life more abundant, that makes our species recognizable to our shepherd-king.

I hope he doesn’t return when I’m having a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d day.

For more on Jesus' parables see my blogs The Absurd Parable of the Unforgiving Slave, The God Who Gambles, Parable of the Vine and Branches, The Crooked Manager, The Friend at Midnight, Heaven Is Like a Crazy Farmer, He Speaks Of . . ., Salted With Fire, Talking Sheep and Goats, Is Your Eye Evil?, Two Prodigals and Their Strange Father, The Lazarus Parable Is Not About the Afterlife,and Jesus Used Parables Like a Sieve.